The Psychic Breakup

Photograph: Tom Hilton

So the other day I had a fight with my psychic. Or should I say ex psychic. Yes I know she is the psychic and I’m meant to believe in her ability to see the future but, she accused me of bullying her and I accused her of being a liar. In a mini diva (it was hot and there were a lot of breakables in that tiny shop) I stormed out and sought solace in chocolate and my friends. Strangely when I relayed the story back nobody seemed to find the bullying claims hard to believe. So much for your friends having your back!

A lot of what she said to me that day made perfect sense and I was agreeing and making mental shifts and notes as we talked. She told me that I would start seeing more clearly and that some friends would try to hold me back but that for me to achieve true happiness I would need to liberate myself from a constrained view of my life and start a new journey. Always with the journeys these people. She told me about my secret crush but annoyingly didn’t see this going anywhere at all. She then told me I would meet my partner in October 2012 and that he would have grey hair. Just how old was this man going to be? I tried to negotiate a younger model but inside I started to get quite disheartened. I couldn’t wait over a year to meet some old man. Anna Nicole Smith I am not. Then I asked her about the babies. She looked at my hand and said “Yes, one baby!”

This couldn’t be right. 8 months ago she was clear that I would have 2 +kids but now it was down to one? How could my future have changed?

This news put me into a spin of panic I won’t lie. We fought, I stormed out vowing never to return and bought a cupcake from the shop nearby. Hmmmmm, I wonder how much business the cupcake shop gets from distraught customers who have just had a reading?

Then I remembered that yet another birthday had occurred in those 8 months without me doing anything proactive and with that, my fertility had clearly reduced. Well I’m nothing if not determined my precious. I got onto the sperm donor search with a drive and purpose that I had never possessed before.

48 hours later and I had one sperm donor potential through my favourite clinic, 2 live donors, one overseas and another that was donor curious. I was on fire! I bought some fertility aiding crystals, spoke to my parents to ensure that they were on board and mentally prepared my friends for my shift in lifestyle. No longer would I be the last one out of the club or the one with the £200 booze bill.

And then it hit me that this law of attraction stuff really works. But if I could achieve so much in 3 days of focussing on the baby who knows what I could do if I were to focus with purpose on finding the partner to face the daily nappy mountain with me?

So I rushed out and I bought a whole new set of crystals. Oh the fertility ones are still basking in the moonlight but now they sit next to my attracting love crystals

Honestly I do feel happier. I have taken control of my life and realised that that living without purpose can sometimes mean you’re not living and life is passing you by. I have come to forgive the psychic although I don’t think I will be going back there. She could only tell me about the trajectory I was on right now but that was my fate not my destiny. Only I could determine my destiny. Or is it the other way around?


  1. Ursula 10 August 2011 at 23:19 - Reply

    Can I get the number for your psychic? lol!

  2. Chelsea Black 11 August 2011 at 00:19 - Reply

    I have another one who is better but not that one, no :)

  3. Charlene G 11 August 2011 at 23:00 - Reply

    Grey haired guys need love too! lol :)

  4. Chelsea Black 24 August 2011 at 01:27 - Reply

    agreed and many men grey early. :)

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